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| Here's the thing:
My life - not the same.
How do I put it into words - especially since I haven't been on in here in forever.
A couple of months back I got a message on myspace from a woman by the name of Asuzina. She had found me on myspace and asked me a bunch of questions about my past, about my family, about me etc. Reason being is that her mom and aunts were looking for their family.
That family ... being me.
Since my dad's murder when I was three years old my family and I came back to Kansas to be with our family. It also helped that my two sisters, from my dad's first marriage, didn't want anything to do with us as well as my aunt. My whole family on my dad's side wasn't very warm to us as I've been told and that we were not accepted too well.
Through the years though I'm guessing that they have changed their minds and it really started to affect them that my Dad had 2 kids out there they knew nothing about.
Long story short. I found my two older sisters, my aunt, grandma, and all my cousins. I have found my mexican part of my family and it's...it's indescribable. I have six other nieces and nephews that I never knew about, the oldest being 14! O.o
The day after I went and got another tattoo. "Jose" on my left wrist in order to celebrate that I found my family and that I can finally start learning about who my father was, where I come from and everything I have always wanted to know about.
I have been seeing this guy for a while. I'm not sure if I want to go into too much details - but let's say before our six month he told me he wanted to talk to me. He basically said, "I"m not sure if I want to be in this relationship. I want to explore my options and make sure this is what I want."
He had been talking to this guy whom he liked and this guy liked him, they have been hanging out behind my back. Though nothing really happened between them the act of it destroyed me. It doesn't take physical activities to cheat on someone. If ever you are not giving 100% of your soul, mind and heart to someone you are cheating on them. This really has destroyed me a lot - and I'm trying my hardest to work things out with him, however, we are slowly finding out that we have so many problems that are working its way up.
I broke it off with him, but we are still trying to work things out - it's just really difficult. It's so hard to try to put things down in words because 1. it's so much information and 2. I actually am kind of tired.
We had a big fight about personal beliefs the other night that took yet another chunk out of my heart and made me view him differently. I'm still trying to deal with that and don't know exactly how to do so.
I'm trying. I really am.
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| Life. It has been treating me interesting lately. I finally picked my ass out of the hole I was in and started my life from scratch. For those who don't know I dropped out of college in December and was forced basically to retreat to my life of hell in Dodge City. I was working at the National Beef meat packing plant making some good money - but it didn't help my situation of living life to the fullest. I came back to Lawrence to visit a week and ended up getting stranded here. The tracks were washed out from the flooding and so I decided to spend my money fair home for food. Ended up staying here for another two weeks and the ride that was to get me home ended up not being able to take me so I found another ride and yet again there was hardly any room for me or my luggage. I found a job here that pays for my rent. So I have a pretty nice apartment free of charge as long as I do my job - and I will. I love it. Don't want to get too much into the details of my life right now because 1.) It will bore you 2.) it will bore me and 3.) I just don't have the time, energy or self existance to type it all out for you. I've been meddling back into my writing and found a suitable story that I think I can take off with. The problem is having the energy to get my thoughts out on paper. I love writing and I guess I'm pretty decent with it; but with how things have been lately I haven't gotten around to doing it much. The best part about falling down on your ass is once you start picking yourself up again; you can't be knocked back down until a brick hits you on the head. Let's just say that I'm good. I'm actually really good. | | |
| I know it's been a while - but let's just say that I've been lost in my own life. I've secluded myself from the world. There is someone that has been sending my heart a flutter lately. I have so many things running through my head - but I've been writing it in my personal journal and not this one.
I apologize for abandoning you guys. Not as many people read my xanga as once before and I guess that is my fault.
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| I have some choice words that I would like to use to describe some of the, let's say environments, here at Hash that I wish that I could use, but knowing that some people may read it and get the wrong idea I will keep my mouth shut.
I also have some choice words I would like to say about some people - but...let's keep that underwraps too.
If we're going to bitch I may as well say that I have some choice words for KU in general.
Fuck off.
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| I have come to the conclusion that I, Cody Q., need to stop making false statements. False? You may ask? I promise that I will start updating .... again.
I have decided that I need to start indulging in xanga again - I have realized that there are people out there who still follow my blog, and that gives me a little hope in my life. So for those who still do read this, my apologies. I will try my darndest to keep this thing updated.
So with that, my friends. I know it's not much of an update - but just to let you know that I am back. How can you quit xanga? You can't. I have been wanting to write some stories a little more - so I may be posting some of them back up here.
..ah my favorite holiday is coming up - Halloween. Leave me a message so I know that you are still reading.
Much love my friends.
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